Why I Started To Write

This is my first blog on this website, so I figured that I should give a little bit of information on myself. I guess the most reasonable thing to know about a writer is why they write in the first place. I never really told anyone why I write, but it’s not rocket science or complicated to why anyone writes. The most obvious reason would be to free themselves from overwhelming feelings and I’m no exception to that.

I started writing around the age of twelve. I didn’t know the word for it back then, but I believe now that I was depressed. I’d had to repeat the sixth grade, so I was one of the oldest kids in my class from being held back a year. From that moment on, I felt like I was always behind my peers in terms of progress and I would never be able to catch up.

I can’t remember the exact moment that made me want to write, but one day I just felt like I had a lot to say and all I knew was that I needed to put what I was feeling into words. So I wrote my first poem -“Happiness”. I was so excited that I wrote it that I wanted to publish it immediately. I searched Google for places to publish and came across a website called derelic.com. The website is no longer up today, but when it was, I got a lot of positive feedback on it. It made me feel like I had a place in the writing community. I look back at it now and think it’s not all that good, but it’s what sparked my interest in poetry and writing, so I cherish it.

From then on, I wrote in journals that my mother bought me and listened to a lot of instrumental music (mostly soundtracks from anime and video game series that I like) to make up my own words. I used to write at least every weekend. I couldn’t wait until Friday after school because it meant I could spend the rest of my day and weekend on my computer searching for inspiration.

I took a break for a few years from writing, but I recently found myself doing it again in the midst of this current pandemic. After I had an asthma attack a few weeks before the U.S went into lock down, I wondered what would be said about me if I had died? How many people have I impacted? Who would bother to remember me? I felt as if I’d wasted so much time not pursuing things I actually liked doing and I wasn’t taking enough chances in life. I wanted to leave my mark somewhere. Do; something I can be remembered for. I realized that I felt better when I didn’t keep my emotions bottled up and by simply writing them down, be it through poetry or journaling, there is healing in it and I didn’t want to stop.